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Determined to please Jill, the next morning he thought, "third time's a charm" and brought her two eggs -- one scrambled and one poached."Here, my love, enjoy!" Jill looks at the plate and says, "You scrambled the wrong egg."
One of my daughter's wedding presents was a toaster oven. Soon after the honeymoon, she and her husband tried it out. Almost immediately, smoke billowed out of the toaster. "Get the owner's manual!" her husband shouted. "I can't find it anywhere!" she cried, searching through the box. "Oops!" came a voice from the kitchen. "Well, the toast is fine, but the owner's manual is burnt to a crisp."

Jill and John got married. John thought this would be a "marriage of the 90's" -- equal roles for equal partners. So, the first morning back from their honeymoon, he brought Jill breakfast in bed. Jill wasn't impressed with his culinary skills, however. She looked disdainfully at the tray, and snorted, "Poached? I wanted scrambled!" Undaunted, the next morning, John brought his true love a scrambled egg. Jill wasn't having any of it. "Do you think I don't like variety? I wanted poached this morning!"

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment. The next week the man realized that he would need his wife to wake him at 5.00 am for an early morning business flight to Chicago. Not wanting to be the first to break the silence, he finally wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5.00 am."
The next morning the man woke up, only to discover it was 9.00am, and that he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't woken him when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed ... it said... "It is 5.00am; wake up."

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लोगों द्वारा कहे गए कुछ अंतिम वाक्य जो इतिहास में दर्ज ना हो सके:

१. इस रसायन को इस बोतल में डालने की देर है, फिर देखो क्या होता है.
२. देखना जरा, मैं तीसरी मंजिल से जम्प करता हुँ, एकदम सुपरमेन ईस्टाइल में.
३. बिट्टु बडा इंटेलीजेंट है, पापा की तरह सर्किट से खेलता रहता है. कल टीवी ठीक कर दिया, आज ए.सी. ठीक कर रहा है.
४. यह बंदुक गोली को हमेंशा आगे ही छोडती है.
५. लोग फालतु डरते हैं, ये देखो दोनो हाथ छोडकर बाइक चलाना एकदम आसान है.
६. घबराओ मत सोया शेर हमला नहीं करता.
७. ये तो शेर के बच्चे हैं, शेरनी तो कहीं नज़र नहीं आ रही.
८. डरती क्यों हो, हर एयरोप्लेन क्रेश थोडे ही होती है.
९. बारूद में ये पाउडर तो मिला दिया, अब मिक्स करके देखते हैं.
१०. लाल वाला वायर काले में लगता है या हरे में.